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Novelistic thoughts; or where big words attempt to impress.

Although it probably just seems really silly, I think I have a fear of dying alone.   

That's it.  I don't want to die alone.         

Another thing is that I surround myself with too many thoughts like these when I am alone.  I can't let them take over my mind, so I have to find someone to take them away from me.  Yet, it seems like when they leave me, they return them as if they are a morbid memento of what once was, as a parting gift, and when I open up the box that holds them, I find out that they have multiplied.

~A small sliver of my novel, still a mere collection of words yet to be completed.

-Ranger.

I treat my friends like mismatched tile cleaner bottles.

This was originally written on an iPod touch in the middle of the night, so that should tell you a bit about the state of mind that I was in when writing this.

As of the time of, well, writing this, I'm about 1/3 of the way into The Perks of Being a Wallflower.
A great book, or at least, it is so far.
I've been told that it is sad, which I don't doubt it is, because it has had some sad moments that seem to...draw me in...that make me feel like I can relate and sympathize.
The way the family gathering was described reminded me of my own family gathering experiences, albeit with less alcohol and abusive remarks. I'm talking about the way Charlie felt awkward in that situation, mostly.

As a preface to this part of the post, I would like to start out by saying that I am one of those people that would love to be OCD and organized but at the same time has no idea about how to go about that whatsoever. As Adrian Monk would say: "It's a gift...and a curse." And as I would add, "a hellishly annoying one at that."

I think what I am getting at is that I also apply this to people probably more than I should.
I don't like this at all.
I find myself wanting to categorize friends, often unfairly, sometimes paring down on my contact with people I would like to, deep down, talk with all the more.
And then, at the same time, I find myself forcing my presence onto my friends that I might not even want to talk with all that much, or even be around, for that matter because I simply want to achieve this perverse sense of symmetry.

I can't think of any good ways to describe it. Are there benefits? It doesn't help me keep or make friends.

I guess it's something for me to think over, and maybe you guys can...see if you do this.

-Ranger

Extruding prose like icing from a frozen pastry.

I often wonder how normal it is to stress over each paragraph written.
I am a perfectionist, and if I don't become happy with something I have created, I either destroy it or never do anything with it.
This is sort of relavent to me at the moment because I am going to be 15 very, very soon.
And I sort of had a pseudo-conversation with a friend about this, but for some reason I can't help but feel like I am going through some humorous existential crisis.
As selfish as it sounds, I can't help but regret not doing something...notable until now.
Does anyone else share similar feelings?

So today I have been sick.

this once was a post

now it is not

Christmas 2012

Hello!   It's been a while since I've talked to you all.   Way too long in my opinion.   Over the past week or so I've been filming and editing this year's Christmas video.   It's let me see the Holiday from a 3rd person perspective, which is neat, and I've been able to capture some memories, which seem to be flying past quicker than ever.  People are getting older, close family friends seem to be dropping like flies, and the whole...season has felt sort of..sad.  But the video I made tries to capture this year in a happy light.  So, without further ado, I present it to you.


-Ranger ^^;

New MySpace?

Well, the new MySpace layout was just pumped out to users worldwide, to the excitement of many. And at first I was skeptical, unsure of whether I would even enjoy this radical change.
After just 5 minutes with the clean layout and the new side scrolling design, I was hooked, posting statuses one after the other, and just now, I've changed my cover photo.

Unlike the old MySpace...this feels...natural.  It feels like it should have all along, or at least in my opinion anyway.  Although, I don't think this extreme minimalism would have been all that popular back, oh, say, 5 years ago, when FaceBook was beginning to usurp what MySpace had.

Another thing that seems to be changing the site is it's people, mostly creative people who have a great dislike for FaceBook, and want to use something radically new.  This is much better than what we have seen in the past, which was primarily 16 year old girls with hair extensions and duckfaces with emo friends.

It's quite the refreshing change from what the normal social network is.  

Have any of you joined?

If so, come nag me on my page!  CLICK HERE
It's a public page so feel free to post comments on my posts.  I'm on there quite a bit, so I will reply in a timely manner to most things.

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In other news, I made an intro of a sort for my videos.

It took quite a while to edit, actually, and it's only half finished.   Oh well.


Thanks for reading.

-Ranger ^^

((As an added bonus, I present to you some doodles I have done on an iPad))